Abe was well known for his cheapness and his 'eye for a bargain'. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in 3 pieces.
After some haggling with the owner, Abe bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece's name and address and gave the owner another $5 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed.
Abe then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had broken in the mail.
A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived.
"Yes, Uncle Abe, but unfortunately, it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered."
"What terrible luck." said Abe, "The Post Office is getting worse all the time."
"It's a shame," she replied. "It was so beautifully wrapped. Each piece separately."
William Shakespeare was reputed to be a real tightwad.
He was always suspicious of the greengrocer's scales.
He hated to be cheated by rigged scales, so he always brought along his own scales whenever he bought produce at the local markets.
That's why his friends, when they saw him in the market, said, "Wherever there's a Will, there's a weigh."